Match Report: St. Kilda vs West Coast
On the 13th of September 1985 Super Mario Bros. was released on the Nintendo Entertainment System, five years later on the 13th of September 1990, Law & Order debuted on television, and three years after that, on the 13th of September 1993, the people’s champ and St. Kilda superstar Mason Wood was gifted to the world. How lucky are we to be living in the time of Wood. In the final quarter of Saturday’s game not even one hundred lumberjacks could have bought Wood down. He stood very firmly in the forward fifty and with the game on the line put the lads on his shoulders and the ball on his boot and went snag, snag, sausage roll.
North Melbourne has done two things in the past eight years that I applaud strongly. Firstly, they let the great Farren Ray have another year of footy when we gave him the boot, and then secondly, they gave the great Mason Wood the boot at the end of 2020 which led him to our doorstep. Without that absurd decision from Norf, we might not have beaten the Weagles. Circles and cycles something something.
Saints Footy was looking hot and spicy in the first half of the first quarter, but after dominating inside 50’s and the pressure gauge, we still went into quarter time 9 points down having let Wet Toast kick the final seventeen points of the quarter. Our kicking efficiency was at world record lows and we were struggling to even hit the grass with the ball let alone a teammate. Captain Jack walked to the quarter time huddle without troubling the statistic takers once. Kingy kicked the first and it’s always a pleasure seeing the big fella up and about early.
The second quarter was the Harley Reid show and we all had front row seats. This young whipper snapper tore shreds off of us like termites demolishing a house. 13 touches, 4 tackles, 6 clearances but no hitouts which is was a win for us. Can’t do everything now, can he?
We kicked the first couple goals of the second but when the Toast finished with three consecutive goals, they took a fourteen-point lead into the half-time break.
The third quarter was an exact replica of every other quarter. We came out hawt, kicked the first few, and then the Eagles clawed their way back and Liam Ryan put on a clinic. Daddy Dow coulda levelled the score but sprayed it, bringing some Carlton form over to his new club.
Marcus ‘the ball magnet magnet’ Windhager went to club officials at half-time and said ‘Can you quickly sew a pocket onto the back of my shorts?’ and when Windy asks for something, Windy gets something. He came out in the third with a pocket and a desire to fill it up. And boy, did he fill that pocket up. He wrapped up the Eagles golden boy in a tight little package and shoved him so deep into his pocket that Harley found lint balls in his ears. Marcus Windhager annoyed the absolute living hell out of him so bad that Harley has now lost the Rising Star award, won’t play again until R16, and will fall asleep shaking in terror at the thought of Marcus Windhager.
The last quarter was fully sick, as Thorpy might say. It seemed a little dicey as the ultimate traitor Jaime Cripps slotted his third goal early on, but then we erected some pizazz and stiffened up our structure and the goals came fast for Wood. What an absolute legend.
Max King got subbed out, touch and go for next week. Seb Ross had maybe career lowest disposals but kicked a goal so good for him. Wilkie, Battle and DOOUGS were rocks in the D50 and Nas was our leading disposal getting with 24. It wasn’t a great day for stats but we won and that’s unusual so no complaints here.
Bring your buckets to Marvel next week as we try and extinguish the sun.
