Match report: St Kilda vs. Western Bulldogs
Carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, ice flows through Cooper Sharman’s veins. He has been tasked with the responsibility of reducing the margin from 66 to 60. Blocking out all external noise, the voices in his head, the little man on his shoulder, and what’s left of the crowd, he delicately slots the goal. It is a historical moment. Jubilation flows from Fitzroy Street to Linton Street, and St. Kilda fans across the globe rejoice. If he had missed, and left the margin remaining at 66 points, it would have been a different story – but thankfully it was only 60. Thus, a disaster is avoided.
When a Marshall turnover leads to a goal in the opening minute, it appears our game plan is to be not very good, so at least we can take solace from knowing we stuck to that game plan for four quarters. Saints fans have been waiting for a consistent four quarter performance and it finally happened – just not the way we wanted. We played the same way from quarter one to four and it’s good to see a bit of consistency being shown. We didn’t touch the ball very much, losing the disposal count by 75 but we won the clanger count by 8 – so we had a lot less of the ball but turned it over a lot more – which is always good.
Whilst we’re here, let’s quickly touch on a couple more areas we were beaten in:
· Marks: 74/148.
· Tackles: 50/72.
· Interchange rotations: 71/75.
· Centre clearances: 9/16.
· Free kicks: 8/21
I can handle losing tackles, and clearances and even free kicks is fine, but I cannot tolerate losing interchange rotations. That guy on the Bulldogs bench with the big moustache was just too good for us on the night. I read on the Reddit thread that someone texted the anti-social hotline at Marvel and reported that 23 men wearing red, black, and white were not being very good at football. Yet to hear any updates from this but will try and follow it up.
Turning up to Marvel on a Thursday night and watching your team get slammed by ten goals is like going to a masseuse for a massage. You think it’s going to be a good idea, but then it’s painful because you haven’t stretched in ten years and they’re pressing into deep tissue. Or going on a hike and then remembering after one step how annoying hikes are. It all seems like a good idea at the time, but on reflection maybe no. When we play away from our spiritual timeslot of Sunday 4:40 we lose our shape. Losing on the last game of the weekend is better than losing on Thursday night. It was an embarrassing performance that bought wicked scorn upon us from the punters, and even the AFL made a meme on TikTok about us which I am top commenter on because famous etc.
Hugo Garcia is up there with the coolest names at the club, but now he is also up there as our best player two games into his career. Laying nine tackles was a huge effort and he even snagged a sausage roll which is what we need more of our mids to do. To put his tackle stat into perspective, Cordy, Battle, Wilkie, Stocker, and Nas combined for four tackles. Garcia, a second gamer, had more than double the number of tackles as our entire defence combined. God save us.
Windhager isn’t just a role player. Wilson is a jet and minted his performance with a Rising Star nomination. Sinclair, Ross, Higgins, Butler are all playing well below their standards. What’s wrong with Sincs? Same with Pou and Owens – they’re simply not having an impact. Is it a positioning thing? Do they need to switch some things up? I don’t know but something needs to happen and needs to happen fast because if we lose to Port our season is looking dire at 2-5.
For what it’s worth, I think Port will win by 35. I’m not someone who tips Saints just because they’re my team. Hanging for a redemption upset though.
MT
